Entry 2: Illicit Thoughts

 

November 17th, 2012

He was quiet. Didn’t say much, but watched closely. I observed that in the beginning. 

I could feel his eyes watching me, but I didn’t want to make eye contact. I was no longer confident in my own decision making when it came to the male persuasion. All these thoughts of inadequacy tumbled through my mind as I avoided the heat of his gaze. I was sitting with friends at Chic-fi-la, which was located in the student center, and was pretty much the central hub for a lot of students. I had just said hey to an acquaintance, one that happened to be pretty good friends with…him. I didn’t know that though, so it threw me for a loop. I tried to keep my eyes on my table, stay engaged in the conversation flowing between the group I sat with, but his eyes prevented me from fully engrossing myself in the discussion. He was nice looking, and had dark chocolate skin that matched the color of his eyes that intensely took me in while my own wandered to every corner to avoid his. 

Finally, I stopped trying and chanced a look at him, and was glad I had while also mad I had. The feelings I felt made no damn sense, and I didn’t want to make sense of them so, I said my goodbyes to the group, and of course, I wasn’t surprised when Lottie, JJ, and Zori gave me the side-eye. I definitely wasn’t all that surprised when they said their goodbyes from the large group as well and followed me through the tunnel that lead out of the building. “Uh, what the hell was that about Brooklyn?” Zori Rain questioned, easily keeping up with my fast pace. 

I shook my head, “what do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Who was that guy next to D.J and how do you know him?” She questioned.

“I don’t know him.” I droned in response.

“Well, he sure knows you boo.” Lottie chirped with a poignant look.

“He definitely doesn’t.” I replied shakily. 

JJ simply grunted, eyeing me closely. 

“Well-” Before Zori could reply with further investigative questions I heard my name come from a voice that instantly had me on edge.

“Brooklyn?” Me and the girls turned around seeing the subject of our chatter sauntering towards us, well, toward me I guess. “Can I- Can we talk for a minute?”

“We will be right outside.” Lottie said, turning to give him a small smile. 

I nodded, trying not to laugh as JJ, Lottie, and Zori all gave him the ‘don’t try no shit’ look before walking out the glass doors. 

My eyes slid from my friend’s retreating backs to the potent, brown eyes that lured me into their depths. 

Eriq.

We knew each other somewhat, though we never interacted since our circles were familiar but seldom mixed.  I didn’t realize he knew my name, though he could have easily gotten it from D.J. “Hi.” I said, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. 

“Hey.” He greeted with a smile. “Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I was wondering if maybe we could change that? Perhaps over dinner?” He asked.

My first thought was, there is no way this man was asking me, ME out on a damn date….respectfully. I just, never thought of myself being his type, thus the reason why I never mumbled a word to him. “Um…sure.” After a few minutes of small talk we exchanged numbers and I was outside, being grilled by my girls as we made our way from campus to Lottie’s place. 

“Thank you for coming.” He said as we arrived back at my apartment after our dinner date, his eyes scanning me from head to toe.

I was more of a crop top and jeans type of girl, but for the date I decided to step out of comfort zone, choosing to wear a white, silk, slip dress, and open toe matching sandals. I styled my hair in a curly updo with strands of curls framing my face. I let Lottie do my make up, which looked ethereal. I didn’t know why I wanted to impress him so badly. I didn’t understand why my heart beat so fast as I gazed at him, looking dapper in his gray button shirt and black slacks. “Thank you for asking me Eriq.” I finally replied with a grin. 

He reached over and gently grabbed my hand, causing frissons of heat to flutter up my arm. I embraced it, leaning slightly into him as our faces moved in closer and closer. When his lips touched mine I thought Iwas going to lose my mind. There’s no way a man can kiss like this, I thought as our lips merged and the innocent kiss quickly turned to anything but. 

Within minutes we were out of the car and hand in hand, walking brisquely to my apartment. He was thoughtful, asking me more than once if this was something I wanted.

Uh, hell yeah!

As soon as the front door closed his arms were sliding around my waist and his warm lips were on my shoulder. I shuddered from the contact, turning in his arms and kissing him with all the pent up passion I felt inside. My insides warmed as he slowly slid both of the thin straps on my dress down my arms, causing my dress to slid down my body to the carpeted floor. “Goregous.” I heard him say as he gazed on my near naked body.

I didn’t know what to say or do, being that no man had ever described me or my body as gorgeous before, nor had one ever been as attentive as he had been the whole night. “Do you want to stop? We don’t have to do this.” he said, pulling me out of my own thoughts. I realized then that I had been so deep inside my own head that everything had paused. He eyed me with what I surmised as…general concern. The entire night he had given me control of the pace, which was foreign to me but greatly appreciated. 

I did want to do this.

So, instead of voicing that fact, I figured doing something would convey my answer just as strongly. I reached for the buttons on his shirt, unbuttoning as quickly as I could, and fumbling along the way. With each button that came undone I got more of a glimpse of his toned body before the shirt fell open and he promptly removed it, giving me an unrestricted view of his chest and rock hard abs. Well, damn. Who knew that body was underneath those clothes, I thought with a silly smirk on my face. A smirk he deftly removed as he leaned in for a passionate kiss before I grabbed his hand and led him further into my apartment and into my room. Eriq gently urged me to lay on the bed, and before I could even get comfortable his arms hooked under my knees and he pulled me closer. I waited on bated breath as he slowly slid down my body, placing soft kisses on my neck, chest, before focusing on my breasts. He licked and sucked on my hard nipples, groaning as if he were tasting decadent chocolate. Before long he dived into my honey pot, licking and sucking my sensitive clit until I screamed out in pleasure. I could feel my orgasm building up. The flutters in my body intensified with every second his mouth spent on my wet folds. I grabbed his head and moved sensually to the rhythm he created with his immaculate tongue. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into a state of ecstasy, and suddenly, it was like a bomb went off inside of me.

“Brooklyn! You good?” The voice thrust me out of my fantasy and back into the present. Disappointment rushed through me as I looked around, disoriented, coming to the realization that it was all a dream and I was with my friends sitting at one of the many tables in the student center cafeteria. 

“Sorry sis, my mind was somewhere else, but I’m good.” I replied, ignoring the looks of worry from Lottie, Zori Rain, and JJ. My eyes landed on the subject of my…fantasy. It was something I knew would never happen even if I tried, which I damn for sure wasn’t going to. I sighed dismally, but then realized that maybe it was for the better. Especially considering the subject of my dreams and homeboy that liked to look at himself while having sex were frat brothers, having joined their fraternity at the same time. Ugh, the high level of bullshit that was my love life. 

If you could call it that at all.